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20 Jokes That Only Book Lovers Will Get

Everyone loves a good joke, especially if there's a hint of insider knowledge involved. That's why we've compiled 20 of the best jokes we've found that only book lovers will get. Feel free to share these with fellow literati, because as E.E. Cummings once said, The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.


  1. How does Voltaire like his apples?
  2. Why did the comma break up with the apostrophe?
    Because it was too possessive.
  3. Jay Gatsby's car was a real hit with the ladies.
  4. What makes Civil Disobedience such a great essay?
    Thoreau editing.
  5. What would you find in Charles Dickens's pantry?
    The best of thyme, the worst of thyme.
  6. Why did the reader give up on Pride and Prejudice?
    The characters were too Austentatious.
  7. How can you get an A on everything?
    Commit adultery in a 17th-century Puritan town.
  8. Why do writers often feel cold?
    Because they're surrounded by drafts.
  9. What is Holden Caulfield's favorite children's show?
    My Little Phony.
  10. What do you say to comfort the grammar police?
    There, their, they're.
  11. Why is John Milton terrible to invite to game night?
    Because when he's around, there's a pair of dice lost.
  12. Why are you unable to make reservations at the library?
    Because they're completely booked.
  13. What did the librarian tell Shakespeare when he tried to put the newest New York Times Bestseller on hold?
    No holds, bard.
  14. What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?
    Two kilo mockingbird.
  15. How did the high school music teacher create controversy?
    He had his students read band books.
  16. What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
    Tequila Mockingbird.
  17. Why was Shakespeare cold after his camping trip?
    Now is the winter of our discount tent.
  18. How did John Green break his ankle?
    The fault in our stairs.
  19. Why is a book's plot so important?
    It builds character.
  20. What do pregnant women and apostrophes have in common?
    They're prone to contractions.


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